”I’m leaving you”. After 10 years and seemingly out of nowhere she hit me with those words. The relationship had been destructive. I had compromised so much with who I was and what I believed. Now the man she left was the compromise. Half a man.
Having studied philosophy for 10+ years, I felt I owed it to myself to do something more than a ’compulsory break-up album’, full of clichés and ’inspirational quotes’. I poured over philosophy, theology, sociology, psyschology, and self-help books. I even dated a therapist (turns out she was just as confused about what ’love’ really is).
I came across a story about an author who wanted to write a biography about French philosopher Jacques Derrida. Derrida being the inventor of deconstructionism said ’Sure, If I can write the footnotes’. True to form, Derrida deconstructed the poor author’s attempt at a coherent story, by infusing every page with footnotes, making every turn more ambivalent and complex.
I can do this with love, I thought to myself. A lot of genuine questions arose: How do our baggage operate in new relationships? Are we ever really autonomous individuals – don’t we always rub off on each other in deeply connected ways? And: Why do we invest so much of our lives, based on fleeting emotions?
”Deconstructing Love” is the product of 4,5 years of labour. Songs were written, re-written by infusing ambiguities – footnotes – to understand love in a more realistic and less fluffy way. Layered over music that ranges between glitch, rnb and post-dubstep, using all my abilities and thousands of pages of research; the album is definitely more than just a bunch of inspirational quotes.
Jonatan Bäckelie is a Swedish singer, composer, producer and theologian. Raised in an extremely charismatic Pentecostal environment, Jonatan came in contact with rave culture at age 12 and recognised; ’Here is another technique for reaching those altered states of consciousness that the church so cherishes’. Bäckelie has released music on some of the world’s finest underground electronic imprints, such as FComm, Hospital, and Compost.
In 2016, Berlin-based Sonar Kollektiv released his debut album ”Darkness on the Edge of Ecstasy” – a nod to both Bruce Springsteen and the mystic John of the Cross. Bäckelie has toured the world, filled dance floors, performed his songs with the Lithuanian State symphony orchestra, and is currently running a Burning Man-style monastery in the heart of the Swedish countryside in Östergötland.